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Anonymous
3 years ago

I hope I’m not out of place adding to this thread now, but I’ve only just learned of Connor’s passing today. Conor and I only knew each other a short time... when we both attended the International School in Manila in the late 1980s. I took up baseball during my 3 years there, and it’s funny what you remember as an 8 year old. I remember the heat... and begging the coach to move me out of the catcher position so I didn’t have to wear all that gear....I remember we’d get Shirley Temples and Burgers each week that we won.... and I remember Connor O’Gorman - someone who we all aspired to play like. Connor, you were talented, intelligent, humble, fair, always happy to help, and a good friend. It’s been almost 30 years since we met, but I’m not surprised at all to read of the success and impact you had throughout your life. It was obvious you were going to make a difference. I can only imagine how hard it has been for your family and friends, and my condolences go out to all of them. Stay strong.

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Katie O
9 years ago

Dear Connor, It is hard for us to believe that it has been three years.  Everyday we still miss you so much that it hurts. Several times yesterday, we asked ourselves what we were doing at that minute three years ago. The first call, the airplane back to Atlanta, Kerry on the first flight to ATL and Lila picking her up thinking you had a small accident and Mikey waking up to 30+ missed calls trying anything to get up to NYC. We remember the uncontollable tears, the intense anger and our complete disbelief. Each one of us plays the what ifs over and over in our head. Why couldn't I have been with you that last night, Mom wishes she would have called. We just wish we could have done something to help. We, including you, all thought you that you were invincible.  Why couldn't we have protected you as you had always protected us? Why couldn't we have done something- you, of all people, didn't deserve this. We remember your ability to never judge, to always light up a room, your insane intelligence that always had the answer- the right thing to say, you always had perspective, you never put yourself first- you were one person that everyone always wanted there, you were up for anything anytime, you had the biggest heart. You loved life- you gave everything your everything ..... From baseball, to your family and friends, to tennis and squash, to Morgan Stanley. You didn't even do it on purpose- you knew nothing less than to be the best son, brother, friend and colleague. "Can't do" never existed to you.  While alive, this was so obvious and we knew you were one of a kind and amazing. Since April 5, 2009- I have realized that so many others knew it too. The stories we have heard and read are truly amazing.... One of the proudest things about each of us always is our big brother and oldest son.  We are honored that you are OUR brother and son. In the past 3 years, friends have shared stories we never knew and if possible, we are even more amazed by you and the impact you had on so many from such a young age. These stories truly show that you are an angel, taken way too soon.  We still think- if only you were here now, would you still be living your fun carefree adventurous but extremely hard working life in NYC? You would be the best husband and father- where would you be? All I know is that  like following you to NY, I wouldn't have been far behind because life was and still is unimaginable without you. We think about those first days -and each day moving forward-and how we get through them. Family and friends and been beyond saviors. But we live for you--- we try to be more kind, more accepting, more giving and have that "can do" attitude. You had it naturally and I have to believe that somehow you are trying to help us embrace the attributes you demonstrated everyday and continue to touch all those that know you and of you.  Ive heard the pain never lessens and I can't imagine it will because plain and simple, life is better with you in it. We'll never miss you less, only love and honor you more and continue  to try to be more like you ...... To make you proud .... like you did for 30 years on earth and continue to do. Sometimes I think you would hate our continuous posts- you would hate the attention but you are all we think about and this is one way we have to continue to share you. Connor- what we would give. We miss you more than I knew possible but we were lucky because we had you. we love and miss you horribly..... And we truly think of you every minute.  I love you more than words, Katie "you're just putting off the pain Nothings ever going to be the same Let it hurt let it

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Mike Price
9 years ago

I was Connor’s classmate and teammate throughout high school in Singapore. I recently got back in touch with our baseball coach and just tonight found out about this tragedy. Though we were not close, Connor still left a lasting impact on me. More than fifteen years have passed since I last saw or spoke with Connor, but every single time I pick up a glove I think of him. Even today, before I found out, I was playing catch with my nephew and found myself working on my mitt, trying to form it to the ideal infielder’s glove, which by definition was Connor’s glove. He was constantly working on that glove to make sure it was perfect. That’s what was amazing to me about Connor, his work ethic and quest for perfection. He was the best player out there because he worked 50 times as hard as anyone else did. While I was always told that practice makes perfect, Connor personified that expression in everything that he did and proved the point to everyone surrounding him. Connor – Even though you gave me fits trying to match up to you, the experience of playing and competing with you was a wonderful gift I will never forget. You taught me a valuable lesson about hard work and sacrifice that has served me well, one that as a coach I am now trying to instill in the kids that play for me. Thank you.

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Anonymous
9 years ago

Miss you Connor. Miss you at work. Miss you at tennis. Miss you on the weekends. Happy birthday for last month. We would have gone out I hope.

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Katie O
9 years ago

Connor, Happy 33rd Birthday. Our sadness is as raw as it was almost 3 years ago. We miss you everyday...... many times everyday. When I am in Atlanta, I sometimes close my eyes and imagine you sitting in your same chair. When I am in NY, I still get the urge to dial your number that I know my heart. You are still the first person I think to call. I remember so clearly planning your 30th birthday. Every "fun" thing we do.... I truly always think how it would be so much better with you. I get the same lump in my throat when I remind myself that you are not here. Your laugh..... your voice.... we would do anything to hear it one more time. Connor, we miss you so much. Love you always. Happy Birthday.

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Katie O
9 years ago

We only miss you more each day. Thinking about you and wishing you were here. I love you so much Connor.

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It is with a heavy heart that I write this. Yesterday June 28, 2011, I found out about this tragedy. Most of you who read this will not know me. I knew Connor while he lived in Bangkok, Thailand. I was one of the coaches/umpires in the Bangkok Baseball Association where he and my son Joe played baseball together. They went to the International School of Bangkok and were truly good friends. I know they lost touch through the years, but Connor was always on my son’s mind. When we got together and talked about our time in Bangkok, Connor was always the first topic that came up. This wonderful young man made such a lasting impression on my son that when it came time to name his son, Connor was the first though in his mind. Although it is a little late I wish to add my deepest condolences to the Connor family.

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Kerry
10 years ago

It’s been two years and one day ago that our lives changed forever… It’s been two years and one day that we’ve been able to hold it together --- all for the purpose of making you proud… Every day that passes is hard, but knowing that you are looking down on us makes it easier to get through…you will always be an inspiration and role model to anyone who ever knew you… I think about you all the time, and I never want to wake up when we meet in my dreams…last night we were body surfing at the beach; you kept telling Katie (who was afraid that she would lose her bikini bottoms) and Mikey (who was convinced that there were sharks in the water) to quit being pansies and ride a wave in…as I sit here writing this, I remember how you interacted with each of us: each relationship you had was special, unique, different, than the others, but one quality, one motto, that you instilled in each of us: “never give up.” I often think about how any of us have gotten through these past two years without you, and then it dawns on me – you never gave up on us… With every sunrise to sunset, I feel you looking out for me, and watching over me as I go about each day. I feel protected, safe – carefree – almost to the point that I feel you physically standing next to me, holding my hand (like you did when I was little) even though you aren’t. It’s hard to describe, but I KNOW that you are here. {Sometimes I make a joke in my head, and I hear you laughing, whether it’s with me or at me is irrelevant.} I know that it’s not just me that you are looking after either. You are watching over each of us: Mom, Dad, Mikey and Katie, and maybe even Deion. I don’t know how you’ve been able to keep each of us sane over the last two years, but thank you nonetheless. Mikey is coming home from Taiwan this summer. We are all really excited for his return because we will actually get to hang out again. Mom and Dad are still themselves, more or less. They miss you more than anyone else, of course, but they haven’t given up because they know that you wouldn’t want them to. They amaze me everyday with their strength. Katie is getting married in October, and when I met her fiancé for the very first time, he gave off a vibe that reminded me of you. He makes Katie smile and puts her in her place; something no one else could ever do but you. I think you would really like him, not because he’s marrying your sister, but because he’s an all-around good guy, and I like to believe that you had something to do with them meeting…I know how close you and Katie are, and I know how much you love her. As for me, I’m working towards getting my degree in August of this year. I’ve been studying and working really hard to finish – I’m not as ambitious as you were, but I’m trying to be! I have to be tuff, just like you… Connor, you would be so proud of us. Each of us are living our lives, becoming closer to one another with every passing day, interacting as a family and becoming the best people we can be because of you. Your lessons of strength, loyalty, generosity, and drive to succeed have been important to us as we get through each day without you. All of your friends, co-workers, team members, family, remember you and your vibrant character. You are our inspiration to keep going, our motivation to do only our best, and our reason to never be afraid of anything. If any of us begin to doubt our own potential, we hear you in our hearts and heads, telling us to keep our heads up and to never have regrets… We remember, very intimately, the way you shrugged your shoulders, the slight tilt of your head to the left, your unforgettable laugh, with your palms directed towards the sky as you simultaneously say: “Don’t be a pansy!” We miss you. We Love you. We are thinking about you always.

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schuylerchang
10 years ago

Dear Connor, Its still surreal to be missing you - I can still see your smile so clearly and hear you laugh that laugh. I've been thinking about you so much lately as I'm planning the memorial service for our 10th Princeton reunion. I wish so much that you could be there with us to celebrate all our good times together. You are always with me and I always miss you. Happy Birthday, Buddy. Love you, Skye

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Katie O
10 years ago

Thinking of you always Con. We miss and love you so much.

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Katie O
10 years ago

we love you and are thinking of you always. This time of year is tough since we have so many wonderful memories - its not worth celebrating without you. We miss you more everyday and wish you were here. Thank you for being the greatest person we will ever know. Merry Christmas Connor. Love you.

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Anonymous
10 years ago

Miss you all the time. What a great friend you are. I'm lucky to have had so many good times with you. You are the best.

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Mike OG
10 years ago

hey con, we miss you and are thinking of you always. family, friends and everyone i come across. not a day goes by that you are not in our thoughts. I think about are trip to iceland all the time, cant get much better than that.

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Katie O
10 years ago

We're all thinking about you. We just really really miss you. Love you always.

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Katie O
10 years ago

Hey Con - Thinking of you and missing you always. This weekend is special because some of your best friends are doing a Malibu triathlon in your memory - I know you'll enjoy watching, you always thought you'd do a tri and now they are doing one for you. We think of you and miss you so much everyday and this weekend is just another way to honor you and let you know that we are always wishing you were here. I love you.

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Katie O
10 years ago

Not a moment goes by that we aren't thinking about you and missing you. I love you

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Katie O
10 years ago

A perfect television segment teaches, entertains, and inspires. The audience becomes lost in the story so they continue to watch. My story below is perfect because Connor O'Gorman constantly taught, entertained and inspired everyone who knew him. In the words of my Uncle, words cannot describe Connor, he had to be experienced. Connor, my big brother, was killed in New York City on April 5, 2009 when he was hit by a taxi at 3:30a. Connor was crossing the east side of 24th street and 10th Ave - the taxi was turning right. Picture this and you see that Connor had the right of way as the taxi's light - red or green - was Connor's light. We do not know if the light was red or green, we do not know how fast the taxi driver was going, or if the taxi driver was on drugs or alcohol because the NYPD did NOTHING when they arrived on the scene. They did not call the accident Investigation unit, they did not test the taxi driver. Instead, the taxi driver got back into his car and drove away after killing a young, healthy 30 year old man. There were 2 witnesses, one remembers Connor being in the cross walk. I received a phone call at 4am that morning to come to the hospital. When hearing that Connor had been in an accident, I asked "Is he dead?" The officer told me he was breathing. I don't know exactly when Connor died - the police did such a sloppy job at the scene by not following procedure. One police report actually said he was speaking when the paramedics arrived - the doctors have confirmed there is no chance, Connor never knew what hit him. This taxi driver destroyed him - broke his skull and torso, lacerated his liver. This taxi driver is still driving in New York. You could get in the car with him or worse, cross the street that he is driving on. I could write forever about this accident, about my brother. All I want is for people to know his story and to know the impact he had on so many and that one careless act by this man has ruined so many lives and more importantly taken such a promising future. I also want some sort of justice - this is not fair.

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Katie O
10 years ago

Note that after several hearings, we finally got the driver's lisence taken and he is not driving a cab. Hopefully he will never drive again. But that is not justice enough.

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Mike OG
10 years ago

listening to country and thinking of you. i love you and miss you.

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Gunce
10 years ago

Hey Connor - I thought of you today. These days, on the rare occasions that I check in at work, it always hits me that you will not be at your desk. That you will not be there to give me a price check, to let me steal your banana or whatever other food you might have had lying on your desk btwn your first lunch and your second lunch. I am a mother now. Ayla is wonderful. But she also makes me feel all too keenly the pain your mom must endure every day for the rest of her life. The paining of loosing a child is not something I can even begin to imagine. My heart aches for her. Anyway, I wanted to let you know that despite the fact that you have been gone for more than a year now, even those of us who were only in your life peripherally still think of you. I hope that wherever you are, the fields are very green, the sun is always shinning, spreadsheets never crash, and shorting vol is never a bad idea. Gunce

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Katie O
11 years ago

A year ago yesterday, I was on a plane to Atlanta from LaGuardia. I was in the middle seat between my parents - we all had tears in our eyes but I think we were too shocked to weep. At one point, I said to them both that we cannot let Connor's death tear our family apart and of course, we all agreed. I think we were all silently wondering if that was possible. Connor had been the spirit of our family - who we all always wanted there. He was the family member who never got angry, who never judged, and he always tried to do anything and everything that would make one of us smile. For mom and dad, it was making them so proud, making them so comfortable because he had our family "under control." He loved us so much and we all admired him endlessly. If Connor was there, everything was more relaxed, more fun, and more spontaneous.... he had absolutely no boundaries. For my parents, it was also a luxury trip to New York each year - 5 star hotels and baseball games. He wanted to thank them, to pamper them - they just wanted to be with us. A highlight for them was visiting Connor's desk at Morgan Stanley in Times Square because Connor loved his work and he was just so good. For Mikey, Connor admired him. Connor would have done anything to live with one of the two men he admired most - his father and his younger brother. He wished he could dance like Mikey but it sure didn't stop him from trying. Those efforts made so many nights more fun. The essence of Connor - anything to make the rest of us smile. Connor took Mikey to Vegas with his Mikey's friends, to Iceland for Mikey's soccer tournament.... to make Mikey happy but also because he enjoyed nothing more than being with Michael. Kerry was so special to Connor. He saw her as the most natural beauty and the most natural athlete. When he visited Atlanta, while he in New York and she in high school or college, his priority was doing what Kerry wanted to do .... listening & "learning" her music, going to her choice of movie, playing tennis or just teasing and chatting. He never saw her as anything other than the most perfect choice we made for her to be an O'Gorman - she is a natural O'Gorman. As for me, he saw me as annoying, overbearing, and protective!! Only I would call him 20 times on a Saturday morning at 10A and then go to his apartment because I was in tears with worry. Only I would scare girls away with dirty looks (or even a conversation!) because they were simply not good enough for Connor. He never got angry, he just laughed, and the next day we would have dinner at Molly's, Rio's, PJ's, Lasagna's, Hakata, or Blue Water Grill - those were our staples. I always told him "You know, I am your best friend." I told him this because he was my soul mate - the person I wanted there forever. The person, I would give anything to be here now. Connor - after not writing on your site for a year, this is my second posting in 2 days. I have so many things to say but don't have the right words to express how much we miss you and the impact you have on so many, especially your family. While your death was not your fault, it has destroyed us. Your strength is the only thing that got us through this year. Our father has always been the perfect dad but I see more of you in him every day. You could be a bit irresponsible with your spending (it was always on other people ; ) ) ..... and dad is continuously doing things just to make us and our friends smile / have a good time - like you always did. Mom has always loved her family more than one woman should and more than ever, she is lighting up rooms and bringing your spirit and personality into the many activities she has joined. And Mikey - you would be so proud. He has stepped it up. My little brother has become my supporter. At your service, when I though I couldn't make it, he took me in a bear hug and said "We will do this together." He is a constant source of strength and comfort, which he learned from you. Kerry - You are looking down and loving her. She switched schools, started working, and writing like none of us could. She is not main stream but you would love that. You have always seen her strengths and more than ever, you would see her promise. We love you and miss you every single moment of every single day.

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Uncle Rich
11 years ago

Dear Pat, Patricia, Katie, Mikey, and Kerry - We think about Connor everyday, many times each day. Although we are now able to reminisce about the fun we used to have with Connor, and what a truly wonderful soul he was, we still feel the great sense of loss and still cannot believe he is no longer with us. We want you to know how much you are all in our hearts and minds always, and that we love you very much. Aunt Mary, Uncle Rich, Pat, Meg, and Lucy

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Anonymous
11 years ago

Thinking about the O'Gormans today. Connor was an amazing person and he will always be remembered. Love you guys.

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kara
11 years ago

thinking of all the o'gormans today and what great memories i have of connor and what an amazing son, brother and friend he always was. love you all.

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Katie O
11 years ago

3 hours less than a year ago, our lives changed forever. I remember looking down at my phone at 3:50am Sunday morning April 5th, 2009 and seeing your picture. Though I had often called you “late night,” I was slightly annoyed. But then it was an officer on the other end; you had been hit by a car but were breathing. The rest of the morning is so clear but so robotic. Jessi, Mikael, Flowerdew, Erica all met me at the hospital. The guard promised you would be okay; the doctor wouldn’t let me wait inside the ER afraid I would be “irate.” Mom and Dad were there 8:30, Mikey kept calling – wanting to fly up – and Kerry was already on plane to Atlanta from Eckerd. You died by 7a. It was too unbelievable for us to be sad. You were perfect to all of us and your death is the worst thing that could have happened to any of us. I promise you, every time I walked a way from spending time with you; I thought, “How could I live without you.” Lame but even in Singapore, when you left for college, I played that dumb Leanne Rimes song over and over because I couldn’t get through 2 years of high school with out you. People still say they don’t know how we do it but we don’t have a choice. A careless and pathetic taxi driver took his eyes off the road and took the most beautiful life I will ever know. In the past year, we have seen him – his license was finally taken and “he will never drive again.” Honestly, it doesn’t help because you wouldn’t care – you were never spiteful – all you would have wanted was to continue on - To be the selfless, loving, light-hearted, successful and perfect person that you have always been. The truth – we have gotten through this year because of you. Any “strong moment” is strength through you. You have taught us to care less about the little things, to be more confident, and to take life less seriously. We have nothing to lose now, now that we lost you. Connor – not a day goes by that your family wouldn’t do anything for you to be here, instead of us. You were too good – that is the only explanation I have. No one compares you and you didn’t deserve to go BUT you are the only source of strength that keeps us going. To say I love you doesn’t capture the way I feel about you or miss you. Thank you for being my best friend and my perfect big brother.

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Monica
11 years ago

I was hoping to post something light and upbeat here... because I think Connor would have preferred that to a melancholy reflection on his death and the loss I (we) haven't stopped feeling, but I find myself listening to the same music I listened to in my bedroom as I lay crying on the floor the week after he died and the tears come flooding back again. I wasn't even a part of Connor's inner circle of friends. I knew him peripherally, but as our mutual friends hung out more and more, we hung out more and more and my unwavering admiration and loyalty to Connor O'Gorman was born. I haven't come to this page as often as I should have over the past year, and for that I am sorry, Connor. I have not forgotten about you. None of us have or ever will. Not a single day goes by where I don't think of you and what you would be doing now, if you'd walked another way home, if you'd grabbed a slice of pizza, if you'd stayed for another beer, or even if you'd met someone that night. I wish I could have been there to stop you in the sidewalk. I wish I could have been there to cajole you into another drink. I wish I could have been there to say, "Late night grub at Half King?" I wrote your family last year that I knew you would be watching over all of us and I still believe this to be true. I stop in my tracks at every sidewalk I ever cross and I think of you. Anyone standing next to me during my look-both-ways moment thinks I'm insane because I'll usually cross with an, "OK, Connor." You remind us that this, whatever this is, can be over in the blink of an eye, and not to take it for granted, like I took you. I thought you'd be around for Jamey's next going away or welcome home party. I thought you'd be around for Leif's birthday. I thought you'd be around for one of Adam's amazing dinner parties. But you left us all too soon. My thoughts are with you, COG, and all the O'Gormans, especially Katie, who I've gotten to know as a wonderful friend over the past year. Thanks for sharing your little sister, Connor -- she's got your spirit and charm and your smile shines right through hers. Good night, Connor, but never goodbye. "When the stars have all gone out, you'll still be burning so bright. Cast me gently into morning, for the night has been unkind."

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Kerry
11 years ago

When I lay my head to rest at night, I am able to see you in my dreams. When I close my eyes to dream at night, My life appears not as it seems. You call my name and I hear your voice, I turn to see you and I rejoice. You are at peace, you soul is strong, In your arms-wide-open is where I belong. I run to you as my pain phases out, I know you're still here without a doubt...... My heart is racing as I hug you tight, I'm never letting you go without a fight. You set me down and look into my eyes, You tell me to be "tuff" and not to cry. You hold out your hand in search for mine, And ask me bluntly: "how much time?" I look up towards you and I reach for your hand, I'm staying with you for as long as I can. Hand-in-hand, we walk for a long time, Our minds in sync and our hearts align. You ask about the family and the lives we each live, You keep repeating softly: "I hope you can forgive." We talk about the present and what we each foresee, Being careful NOT to mention how our lives really SHOULD be. A feeling overwhelms me, a distant ringing in my ear; I feel myself losing you again, a feeling that I fear. I do not want to watch you go, I do not want to cry. I do not want you to disappear, I do not want to say goodbye. I feel the pain arise once more, I feel my happiness subside, I feel my soul break to its core, My intense heartache can no longer be ignored. You lived your life without complication, You taught me the importance of determination. Your kindred spirit will never depart, You give me the strength I need within my heart. The sound of your voice is still so loud, I'll do my best to made you proud. When I lay my head to rest at night, I am able to see you in my dreams. When I close my eyes to dream at night, I wish reality was not as it seemed. My life has changed so drastically, And there's a missing link within my family. I deny reality and live in my dreams, So I don't have to be in pain. I deny reality and live in my dreams, So I don't have to lose you again. I deny reality and live in my dreams, So I don't have to grow old without you. To Connor.

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Katie O
11 years ago

The goal of this letter is to tell you about the innocent young man you carelessly mowed down and killed. The suffering you caused by this neglectful and cruel act is immeasurable. His family is devastated and grief stricken--his friends are also shattered. You took our son, our first born, in a violent manner and then went on your way. The police failed to test you and took your word for what happened. Did you even consider calling the hospital to see how he was? Did you care? He was kind, generous, funny, smart...so many outstanding qualities represent the man he was. Connor O'Gorman was the nicest, most gentle man I have ever known. Everybody loved him. There was not a mean bone in his body. He loved kids and they loved him. He loved his family and friends and completely enjoyed life. HE was the person we all want to be, but since that's not possible, just wanted the honor of being his friend. Connor loved all sports. He played baseball--starting at five years old. He was not a natural athlete but worked so hard at succeeding. When he was young, he was a star, but that faded as he grew older. He stilll practiced and practiced--any time he could. Connor was a coach's dream because he would do whatever the coach asked, without complaining. He was on the Princeton baseball team for four years but rarely got a chance to play. However, his senior year, he shared the 'Most Valuable Player' trophy with his friend who played in every game. That's the kind of person he was--valuable as a role model and helper--even though his time on the field was short. Connor was smart and made good grades. When in high school, he found a solution to a logic problem that had never been done that way before. His teacher wanted to publish Connor's method, but it was lost over the years. He worked hard at his job at Morgan Stanley, a job he enjoyed and excelled at. He often would leave our home in Atlanta on Sunday, fly to New York, and go to work at midnight--just to be better prepared Monday morning. Connor loved his family--parents, two sisters, and a brother. He came home often and brought the biggest smile when he walked in the door. His sister, Katie, was his best friend in New York, and they spent much time together. No problem was too great when they helped each other. Katie stayed home for three months, after Connor's death and then struggled to return to her life and job in New York. She moved apartments to try to escape the memories and heartbreak, but some things are impossible to repair. Connor and Mikey, his brother, were also close. Connor would do anything for Mikey. Last year he took him to Iceland so Mikey could join his friends for a soccer tournament. Mikey is teaching school in Taipei this year--his way to deal with his loss. Kerry, Connor's youngest sister, is from the Philippines and depended on Connor for advice, help with school work, and general friendship and understanding. She should be a senior in college this year, but she left school after Connor's death. She is now trying to finish school in Atlanta but has lost at least a year. These siblings loved and idolized Connor, and he felt the same toward them. He was the big brother all kids wish they had. He was ALWAYS there for them, and we were so happy and relieved that he would be around when we are gone--no worries because our kids would always have Connor--that is until you took him away. As for Connor's father and me. We have loved him for thirty short years. Life without Connor is no life at all. We have three children now who are dearly loved--but the loss of one--any one--takes the joy and leaves a hole, impossible to fill. His father coached him in every sport and advised him in many major decisions. We lived in seven different countries as the kids grew up, which made for a very close family. I too had the pleasure of watching him grow--watching him play--seeing the results of his hard work--talking to his teachers and just being in his presence. As a grown-up he never missed a holiday at home. He was our much beloved son--a shining light--extinguished by a taxi driver--who took his eyes off the road--and in one moment destroyed a valuable and loving future. Then there were Connor's friends. He had so many and loved them so much. The loved him too--he was generous and kind--and always ready for an adventure. If they asked--he gave--or he went--or he listened. So many came to his memorial service--from all over the United States --Singapore--Bangkok--from his early years to the present. Many people spoke at his service--his three siblings, two uncles, his four best friends, his first baseball coach, his boss from Morgan Stanley, and the ministers. Katie's good friend sang "You Lift Me Up", and that describes him well. The church was packed. His cousins were there--the peers and their children. Also, many aunts and uncles, and his 97 year old grandmother was there in spirit. We received many cards and emails--one from a driver we had in the hPilippines twenty years ago--another from the son of our helper in South Africa, the first time, 30+ years ago. How did these people find out? Only a gentle giant could touch so many people. How does it feel to know you took away his chance to marry--to have children and to be the wonderful father he was meant to be?--to live a long healthy life that he worked for and truly deserved? The weekend before Connor died, the three kids and I visited Kerry in college in Florida. We went to a pre-season Braves baseball game, and the kids spent a night out together - just the four of them. Connor left early Monday morning, and I hugged him, told him I loved him and to be carefull. You see, he was so innocently and innately good that I always feared he would trust the wrong people or be unaware of dangerous people close by. Little did I know, this would occur the next weekend, and I would not see him again. That Monday night he, his brother, and friends drafted their fantasy baseball teams. I sent Connor a teasing message about one of the players he had chosen. He wrote me back--"Pansy, its just business". Somehow I imagine you saying--"Its just business--my job is to drive a taxi", with little remorse. They say you broke a law "failure to yield to a pedestrian" since you and Connor were going in the same direction, and had the same lights to obey. You broke the law when you failed to yield. However, you broke much more than that--you broke many hearts and, more importantly, you broke Connor O'Gorman--something you should NEVER FORGET. Connor's dad and I often wonder why you are still driving a taxi, and why a city would allow others to be at risk when one who has killed, without punishment, is still on the road. We think of Connor when we get up--when we go to bed--and most of the time in between. We all cry--OFTEN. Our grief rules our lives. What do you think about? Do you ever give Connor a thought? To fully explain Connor to the man who killed him is impossible for me. You could not understand his goodness. But in closing, you should know that he would never want this praise. He was humble and never sought attention or recognition. He just wanted to be happy--to laugh his beautiful laugh and spend his time with the people he loved. You took Connor from us. I hope you understand the horror of what you did. You need to live every day--every hour--every minute with that knowledge--as we do. His family will never be the same. We will never forget your name, and the fact that one careless, selfish moment in your life took our son's and brother's life and destroyed ours. Patricia, Patrick, Katie, Michael, and Kerry O'Gorman

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Nicole Roos
11 years ago

As one of Katie's friends in NYC, I had the pleasure of meeting Connor a couple of times. The first time was at a huge 70's beer pong bash that he threw at his apartment shortly after I had moved to NYC. I remember thinking, "If all parties in NYC are like this I am going to love it here!!" Throughout the whole party, he kept making sure that Katie and her friends were having a good time. I could see what a genuinely good person he was and I could tell that there was a strong bond that existed between Katie and her big brother Connor. I am truly sorry for this tremendous loss. The O' Gorman family will continue to be in my thoughts and prayers. Love, Nicole

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Rebecca Oren
11 years ago

Connor, we miss you and think of you every day! Our little girl, Nina Caroline, arrived ten days ago and in the Jewish tradition we gave her a middle name beginning with the letter "C" in your honor. We know she'll be blessed with so much of your spirit--she was practically born smiling!--and while you can't be here to hold her in your arms, we know she's got her very own special angel. Thanks for looking out for her the way you always did for all of us. We love you! Rebecca and Haas.

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Michel Cowdery
11 years ago

As Mike gets on a flight for Taiwan after a weekend spent having several one final leaving outings, Connor's presence was very much part of everything this past weekend and made me reflect. We toasted to Mike and Connor each night and drank Connor's shot of choice; a purple hooter. I first met Connor at Fado in September '08. I had been trying to put together a team to play a soccer tournament in Iceland two months later and of course wanted Mike to come along. After a few minutes getting to know Connor at Fado, out of the blue, he asks me, "so what's this about Iceland?". I told him and, without pause, turned to Mike and said, "you're going". He then turned back to me and asked me if he could also go. Connor's incredible generosity and love and caring for his brother were immediately apparent. We wanted Connor to play with us but declined, choosing to take in Reykjavik's sights and sounds day and night while we got destroyed on the pitch. The memories from that trip will stay with us forever, especially because of this blond guy with a Braves cap, with a high-pitched jovial laugh, who put everyone at ease and immediately became your friend and won your respect. Even though we lost every game, that trip was memorable, in large part because Connor went along, brought us great joke and too many laughs to count, and made it possible for Mike to go as well. Like the rest of the guys on that trip, I feel priviledged that I had the chance to meet Connor, a truly remarkable person, whom we are lucky to meet in life. Rest in Peace, COG. You'll continue to live on through your family, something which is very apparent when spending any amount of time with Mike. The pain might never go away but I pray that your family can find peace and forever live in your memory. Yours truly with respectful condolences, Michel Cowdery

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Shari Vo-Ta
11 years ago

I didn't know Connor that well in high school, but my strongest memory of him was when he gave me a ride to the College of PE for a community service activity (Special Olympics Badminton) when he was a senior and I was junior. I remember thinking that it was so cool being driven in a car by another high schooler! Guess you have to understand that it was rare for anyone at that age to be driving, since Singapore has great public transportation and cars are very expensive. I remember thinking how Connor was a very warm and nice guy. Words cannot even describe how I feel for his loss. I think Katie's memorial speech hit me pretty hard as I have a very close relationship with my older brother too. Connor was definitely someone incredibly special and he'll be sorely missed. My sincere condolences goes out to the O'Gorman family.

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Sharon Briffett
11 years ago

I am not over the shock of hearing of Connor's death. Our families were friends in Bangkok when Connor and Katie were very young, Mike wasn't even born yet (or at least was born just before we moved to London) and of course Kerry hadn't entered the picture either. My recollection of Connor was as a sweet, fun loving and good natured little boy (could he have been 3 or 4?). And even then he was a protective older brother. We met up again with the O'Gormans in Singapore (for a visit) and we loved the fact that they had a batting cage in their yard. It must have been a very strange sight for the locals, but it was clear that the O'Gormans found nothing odd about it at all! Our hearts are breaking for all the O'Gorman family and for all of Connor's friends. How lucky you all have been to have had Connor in your lives - he was adored by all. Sharon and John Briffett & family

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Jane Reid
11 years ago

For the O'Gormans: Our sincere sympathy to each one of you during these difficult days. Remember the good times and let them give you strength and peace. Robert and Jane Reid and family Manila, 1986-1995

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Uncle Rich
11 years ago

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Uncle Rich
11 years ago

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Uncle Rich
11 years ago

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John Cox
11 years ago

I wasn't very close to Connor growing up but it was impossible not to recognize the type of stand up guy he was based on how he carried himself and was respected by others. Had I been less than terrible at baseball, perhaps our paths would have crossed more frequently. He had a charisma about him that was impossible not to notice and it seems every image of him in my memory is one of him smiling. It's terrible for the world to lose someone of Connor's merit and my heart goes out to his family. It's touching to see on these pages how the positive meaning he's left on his friends, family and peers lives on in our memories. Connor, you'll be missed.

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Sarah Key
11 years ago

It was a month ago today that Connor O’Gorman passed away. I know this has been the most painful month for the O’Gorman family. Each day, I have thought about Pat and Pat, Katie, Mikey, and Kerry. I will continue to do so every day in the months to come. During this month, even thru such tragedy, it remains clear how strong and close this family is. Connor will remain in our memories forever. Connor was a loyal son, a super-hero big brother and an instant friend to anyone he might meet. Simply because I was a friend of Katie’s, Connor welcomed me with open arms and an endlessly generous heart. Connor would drop anything and everything to be there for his friends and family, no matter how small or large the problem may have been. Although it might not be fixed over-night, it was always easier to cope, knowing that Connor was there. One memory I have of Connor- One weekend, I went to New York to visit Katie. Rather than visit the empire state building or see the statue of liberty, I spent that weekend at Bed, Bath, and Beyond. Connor was in a new apartment and Katie wanted to go shopping for all the new essentials he might need. Connor willingly handed over his credit card and said we could buy him whatever we thought best. While this exchange was unfolding, one of Connor’s roommates gave us the same green light with his credit card. Well after some intense shopping, let’s just say their apartment was more than adequately furnished and equipped. I never really knew if Connor liked the black sheets or any of the other items we picked but I know he kept every item we selected that day. However, I can’t say the same for Connor’s roommate-not that I blame him. Having a sister of my own, I still marvel at the exchanges I witnessed that weekend between Katie and Connor. I had never known a sibling to be so generous and trustworthy, nor seen another so eager to help out their brother to ensure they had everything they could ever need in their new place. Each of them would do anything for the other- no questions asked. Many people live a lifetime without experiencing this kind of love.

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Katie Jesionowski
11 years ago

I had the pleasure of getting to know Connor over the past 3 years since marrying my husband Mike, Connor's colleague and friend. I always loved seeing Connor enter a room. It was like he turned the light on and the volume up each time he did. Without pretense or agenda, he made each of us feel like he was truly excited to see us. I really believe that he was. That why it's amazing, but not surprising that each memory I've heard or read about Connor is consistent with the one before it. Joy, passion, dedication, intensity, love. These are the gifts that he shared with each of us. The pillars by which he lived his life. Every. Single. Day. What an amazing example and lesson to us all. I feel so honored to have spent the time with him that I did and can't help but shake my head and smile just thinking about his anything-goes attitude and trademark laugh. Connor will live on in each of us forever. I can't think of a more amazing gift for him to give to any of us.

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Ryan Quillian
11 years ago

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Ryan Quillian
11 years ago

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Ryan Quillian
11 years ago

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kara
11 years ago

I don’t remember exactly when I met Connor but it was probably shortly after I graduated college because that’s when i was lucky enough to meet Katie. I lived with Katie for almost 4 years and Connor was a constant fixture because when you are friends with one of them you are friends with both, that’s how close they are. Connor was one of the most selfless people I’ve ever met; he would drop anything at any time to help one of his sisters, parents or brother. From the stories I’ve heard the same applied to his amazing friends also. He was never anything but sweet, kind and just an all around great person to everyone always. You could always count on him to to there for anything, no matter how small. Silly stuff we needed help with around the apt....i think he even dodged coming over a few times during some “mice problems” at the apt katie and I shared but I know he would have taken care of it had we not. What stands out to me the most is the negotiations I would witness between katie and connor. They really would do anything for each other but it was the small things that were so nice for me to see. If katie wanted something and connor gave her a quick no or a “c’mon kates” she would always know what to come back with to get him. no matter how silly the movie...he would go see it with her. The Sunday dinner dates were also really special to them both. He really lived for her home cooking and katie could negotiate a lot from making him dinner or some great sweets. In all of the times I was ever at connor’s apartment I don’t think I ever remember him cooking anything but he would always have a spread for us and order whatever anyone there wanted. He was the most gracious host always to everyone and would gladly have “katie and her friends” over whenever we wanted. He would go along with whatever silly theme or idea we would come up with and just laugh his great laugh along with us and be a great sport. He never passed any judgment and no matter how embarrassed we were about whatever happened the night before he never cared or brought it up again. There hasn’t been a day that’s gone by that I can’t hear his laugh and that I haven’t thought about him and all of the O’Gorman family. He was an impact player in baseball, but I also know the impact person he was in all of our lives.

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schuylerchang
11 years ago

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schuylerchang
11 years ago

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schuylerchang
11 years ago

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schuylerchang
11 years ago

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Victor Rameker
11 years ago

I have many memories of Connor - for all the great reasons that made Connor, well Connor. None better than the 35 times we huddled before our softball games during our senior year. In a pre-season game Connor, our fearless captain, had initially likened our softball game to an epic battle against the fiercest of enemies. It was battle of which the very outcome of the war depended. Winning it would require us to be brave, endure, believe, and almost certainly involved copious amounts of pain – let me remind you that we were playing slow pitch softball. Regardless, it was a correlation that stuck immediately. Connor would start the pre-game huddle announcing which besieged group of warriors we would impersonate - one day we were Sioux Indians, the next we were Samurai. Like any good storyteller, Connor would take us back into time going into intricate detail about their history and how it related to our task at hand – winning softball games. No doubt a very healthy dose of artistic license overcame any actual historical accuracy. No matter, Connor was doing what he did best – making us laugh. It became a critical fixture to the start of our games and we were like kids around a camp fire grinning at the anticipation of the next great story. Connor – thank you for those memories and for the positive influence you had on everyone you met. You are missed dearly.

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Brett Hennessy
11 years ago

I only had the privledge of hanging out with Connor one time about two months ago. I met him through one of his close friends Jamie Waters. Jamie had shared stories with me about many of his friends that I would be meeting, but Connor's shined through with commical distinction. I couldn't count the laughs that night if I tried. Everything from vodka redbulls to random limo rides, It was pure fun and at the heart of it all was Connor's smile. I'm very grateful that I was able to share an unforgettable night with Connor and his friends.

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J
11 years ago

I don't think it matters much, my name. I was one of the many brokers who covered Connor's option business at Morgan Stanley For the past 3 years, in fact, Connor was one of the guys we chased, since he was what they call a big fish in our world. I had a few nights out with Connor. We had some laughs and some beers. Sadly, we remained focused on what mattered to me. Getting more business from Connor. I regret that. Things took a drastic turn last year. Connor asked me to execute a rather big trade for him. Needless to say, Connor was dead right on the trade. In a matter of hours, it was a big winner for M.S. But after 3 days, we all discovered I had screwed up part of the trade. MS still made a great deal of money on the trade, but I cost him even greater sums. The number was not much for M.S. but could have cost me my job and more. No need to say where it went from there. I'm sure Connor's friends and family know how this story ends. Connor, you were a great trader. Always compassionate to guys like me who made "dumb" a career. I never had a chance to meet many of your friends. But from the stories I have read, you will be missed. This is a tragedy. For you and for those who so clearly loved you.